Tuesday, January 28, 2014

GRATITUDE TUESDAY: YOU CAN'T CALL ME BIG ASS 'CAUSE I'LL WHOOP YER ASS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I continue to lose weight with my high protein diet.

I was probably at my chubbiest when I tried to teach high school a few years ago. A number of the kids would pretend to cough to semi-camouflage calling me "Big Ass". I wanted to slap those racist juvenile delinquents and remind them that their butts were even bigger than mine.

I ignored it instead, because I had many more important problems with my students, and I use the term "students" loosely.

Well, no one can get away with calling me Big Ass now. I don't know how many pounds I've dropped, nor how many inches have melted away, but today I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned and I wore a dress that I bought about 15 years ago when I was a reporter.

The dress isn't as loose as it used to be, but it isn't too tight, either.

Now, I ask you: Is this a picture of a woman with a big ass?


Case closed. I think my tummy is bigger than my rear end, but I'll keep whittling everything down.

And yes, I know I didn't make my bed this morning. I'm too busy being grateful.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

44 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Fine, thanks. Are you concerned I'll be constipated? Trust me: I'm a poop machine.

      Delete
    2. A high protein diet can cause constipation, Al.

      Delete
  2. My kinda dress, and you're rockin' it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You look great. The thing to remember always is beauty comes in all sizes and shapes, but health is the most important thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel much healthier when I'm slimmer. I'm losing the weight very slowly because if I lose it quickly I know I'll put it back on.

      Delete
  4. Obviously January is a dentist month. I love mine too and his ass-sistant. The dress looks great. Congrats for losing weight. I don't judge people by the size of their caboose nor if their bed is made. It takes courage to ignore teenagers remarks like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those kids had so many problems. I think 50% will end up in prison. I was shocked at how many had already been in jail or juvenile detention.

      Delete
  5. You look fantastic!!! :) But I think I've found the pounds you've lost...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't give them to you on purpose. Feel free to send them to someone you don't like.

      Delete
  6. I'm back, Janie Junebug! A double shot of JJ always hits the spot, straight up or on the rocks. Shucks, I needed a cold shower after reading your previous post followed by Bouncin' Barb's! There must be something in the water up there on the northeast coast of Florida. :)

    Anyway, I think you look fabulous, although it's a shame you cropped off the top half of your body. If losing weight is a goal then I applaud the progress you've made. I'm no expert but I think you can chalk it up to all that church goin' of yours. Church goin' is a great way to burn calories. It's fun, too!

    Love and a hug, Janie Junebug!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I took off the top because my bodacious ta-tas are so distracting. Love and a hug back to you.

      Delete
  7. You go girl! You're looking good. I tried to see if WDW was still stuck down there by the bed, but I couldn't tell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He got out. We had more adventures that afternoon.

      Delete
  8. Keep up the good work! You look fine1

    ReplyDelete
  9. If I was interested in an ass I would still be married to my starter wife. She was the biggest ass I ever met. It's the whole (not just the hole) thing that interest me. But keep up the good work. You will feel better in life and about yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You do not have a big ass! Students can be jerks! What is this about your bowels and your being a poop machine? I like that dress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John is a nurse. I think he asked about my bowels because a high protein diet can cause constipation. It's not a problem for me.

      Delete
  11. You definitely dont have a big ass. So no carbs? I should try it.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't give up carbs completely, PAPS. Just cut back.

      Delete
  12. Hi Janie .. good for you ... I love the idea of whittling away - I must do that too ... thank goodness the better weather will be here soon ... but in the meantime I shall whittle away a little a day ... great idea - and yes aren't kids 'just beloved'!!!!

    Congratulations on your slimline look .. Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some kids are harder to love than others.

      Delete
  13. Skinny Ass!

    You are a brave, brave woman to have even ventured into the high school. I was a psycho-volunteer-mom when the kids were in grade school, but as soon as they moved on to middle school, I was like --- you're on your own. Teenagers scare me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The strange thing is that I've always liked teenagers. When I subbed, we usually got along very well, but it was the school from which Favorite Young Man had graduated. The school where I had a teaching job is ranked as one of the worst in Florida.

      Delete
  14. Good for you! I know how you felt. Whenever I've worked in the schools, I've fantasized about hauling off and belting some of the sh**s right in the kisser. Not a good idea, but it would feel so good for a couple seconds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got fired anyway. I might as well have gotten fired for smacking someone. The principal would have been the best choice.

      Delete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Replies
    1. That just might be the most brilliant comment ever made.

      Delete
  17. Good luck with your weight loss.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Goodness! You hardly have a butt at all! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and Susie need to get together to give out compliments. Depression would end.

      Delete
  19. Go YOU! That's awesome JJ. It makes you feel good doesn't it? Keep up the great work.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nope. Well done.

    Interesting carpet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a very inexpensive area rug. I have the same pattern in my living room.

      Delete
  21. Dammit. Why didn't I read this post BEFORE I bought my nachos for lunch. I seem to have lost my motivation. Maybe Franklin has it. Will you look?

    Congrats on your progress!!!

    -andi

    ReplyDelete

Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.